That Moment When You Realize

        This last week everything hit me. I am really leaving. Before it was all talk about something happening in the future and you just kind of brush it off like yeah eventually. But no turns out I am really leaving in two and a half weeks. It hit me when I dropped my brother off for his first day of school. I went inside to see what was going on and I was on the outside looking in. It was weird and that is when it hit me that I am not longer apart of this world. I have to move on ready of not. Life doesn't stop and wait till you are ready. It just keeps on going and you have to dive in and keep up.
        I am leaving four of the best friends I have ever had. They are not coming with me and that breaks my heart. I am leaving my home town for the first time in my life. Everything is new and sort of scary. But I am most heartbroken about the people I am leaving behind. The fact that they will go on adventures with out me and have inside jokes that I won't be apart of.
       It is strange how life just kind of comes along one day and slaps you upside the head with reality and your life as you know it changes. But the time has come for me to spread my winds and jump out of the nest.

Waiting and Praying

       I don't know what it is about this last year but I have started thinking about my future husband a lot. I think it is because most of my friends are in relationships now and I have been feeling like the outcast a little bit. But that is okay it has given me time to think about what I want in a boyfriend. It also makes me think of what my husband will be like and where he is or what he is doing right now. I often pray for him and ask God to be with him. I wonder how our story will play out.

Biggest Dream

      My biggest dream is to pack up and travel Europe for a year, take pictures, and blog about my experience. It would be so spontaneous and adventurous. I think the whole trip would be a really great growing experience, and heck who doesn't want to travel Europe? At the end of it all, I would love to write a book or maybe make a coffee table book with my pictures.

Worlds Collide

        Have you ever thought about how your life collides with others? How your life crosses paths with different people everyday, some complete strangers. That lady behind you in the grocery store line, how does her life effect yours? How does her life effect the cashier's?
         We see different people all the time, how do the choices we make effect those around us? Doesn't even have to be big things like taking different jobs, but small things like where to go for lunch. If you had gone to that other restaurant you wouldn't have seen that man sitting in the conner booth. The fact that your paths crossed even for a moment. That made an impact on something; that changed something.

Different Yet The Same

           I have always wanted to travel the world. I love how there is so much history out there for us to go see and experience. It fascinates me how people on the other side of the world can be so different, yet so similar. Things that are new and exciting to me may be completely ordinary to someone else.

         You can learn so much by traveling. Things that you couldn't necessarily learn in a textbook. You can see first hand how people live; or see something historical and imagine what life used to be like.  Europe is a good example of that. They have historical cities and sites all over the place. It is mixed in with the new development around it. You see the contrast of new and old all the time. It is so beautiful. I have done a lot of traveling throughout the United States I wish I could go see more of the world and what it has to show. 

Passionless Life

        Everyone needs to find that one thing that makes them happy. You need to find passion in something. Find something that lets you chill and unwind. So often we get so caught up in what we have to get done. We work all the time, we think about work, we live, breathe, and sleep work. We never really stop to rest. We work while we eat, we work when we are home, and even when we are laying in bed we are thinking about what we still need to do.
         We really need to take time to stop and allow ourselves to relax, to do something we enjoy. Not only does this make life more enjoyable but it is physically, mentally, and emotionally healthier for you. It allows you to take a break and keeps you from working yourself to death.
         So go find what you enjoy doing. Take some time to actually experience life. Don't get so caught up in what you have to do and just have fun!

Outside Looking In

     Do you ever feel like you are in a movie? Like you are watching yourself going through life from the outside.  Sometimes I feel like I am sitting just watching myself go through life- like I am a character in a movie. Like I can't control what is going on I am stuck watching. It is the strangest feeling.

Lashing Out and Sad

        This summer before I leave for college is the longest one of my life. My brother will go back to school before I will. It is good in some sense, I have a chance to get things done before I go. But it also is bad because it delays the inevitable, me leaving. It has been causing my family, and I to lash out and yell at each other. The stress has been getting to everyone in weird ways. Little things cause us to get upset and freak out. It is irritating and frustrating. I want it to stop yet it is easier just to live upset and irritated at everyone sometimes.
        Sometimes, I just want to hurry up and move so that I can get settled and everything can calm down. Yet I know that if that happens things will never be the same. I will never live with my family ever again.  I know I need to appreciate what I have while I have it, but sometimes it is just hard.

Enslaved to Emotions

        Do you ever get so mad all you can do is break down and cry? Maybe that is just a girl thing. But sometimes I get so mad I don't know what to do with myself. The only thing I can do is cry. Channeling energy is never something I have been good with. My emotions have gotten me in trouble a few times. I can't always get a grip on them. It's weird how we let ourselves become overwhelmed and run by our feelings and emotions. Why is it so easy to lose control? Why do we let ourselves become so enslaved?