Stuck in The Past

      Why is it that when we loose something that is when we wish we had it the most? Why do we not appreciate things while we have them? I think we just get used to having them and we can't imagine life without them. It's funny how life works sometimes. Why do we hate change so much? Why is it that when things change we fight it? We like things to be familiar and comforting. Sometimes I wish I could go back and do things differently. Go back and appreciate what I had while I had it. Then it would make changing easier, at least I like to think it would.

Summer bliss

          Summer is probably the most looked forward to time of the year next to Christmas. It has always been one of the best times of year for me. You get to go out and play with your friends all day, swim, run through the sprinkler, stay out later because it stays light longer, eat ice cream, the music of the ice cream truck becomes your summer theme song. You fall asleep to the sound to the sound of the fan, which is always running. You live in your swimming suit. You count down the days till you go to camp. Summer bring joy and pure bliss. From the moment you finish school and say goodbye to your friends you are on to the days of milkshakes and lemonade stands, car washes and drive in movies.
      Some of my best childhood memories are of summer, playing outside all day with my friends. Climbing trees, getting dirty, swimming, riding bikes, playing baseball, everything was so much fun. I wish summer was still like that. Innocent and adventurous.

Escape

       Do you ever lie in bed a little longer to avoid the world? You try to escape the problems or tasks you will have to face. Your bed is so warm and welcoming and begs you just to stay, to avoid facing the day.  When your life gets confusing and frustrating, when you are having a problems with some friends, when you are stressed, when you are having family problems, when you are making a big decision, when you just don't want to go to work, or when life just won't stop throwing problems at you. These are the times when you just want to give in and sleep it off, stay in bed and avoid. Unfortunately this never works, it never solves the problems or make them go away. It just makes it worse if anything. Although that is always the tactic I chose, I hide away in bed praying it will make everything go away. Then when nothing happens, I put my big girl panties on and face the day.

The Challenges with Friends

      Why are friendships so hard? I mean some just happen. You meet someone and you hit it off and it is smooth sailing from there. Some never get very deep, you just know a person and you have common friends and you hang out with them every once in awhile. Other friends are there for a long time and you love them with all your heart. I mean friends can be the best. They get you through some tough times.
      But there are those friends that walk out of your life just as fast as they walked in. They move and you lose touch, or they get a new boyfriend or girlfriend and are no longer around, then you have those who call themselves your friend but they don't really act like it, or they change schools and move on with their life. This always sucks and it happens more than you would think.
        As I am moving on to college I am realizing that this is just going to be a reality for me now. My friends are going to different schools, some I will never see again, I will just loose touch with some, but some will stay forever. I left high school with not many friends, but we will see what college holds.

High School Safety Net

      Sometimes I wish I could go back and never leave high school. As much as I hated it, there is something warm and welcoming about it. Something that is familiar that invites you to stay and reminisce about the good times. High school is a hard time in life, it is a fish tank, where everyone looks at you and knows your business. Yet somehow there are always those that no one really knows anything about and they seem to just slip through the cracks. You try to stay "cool" in the social scene, keep up with your homework, projects, and studying, all while balancing extra-curricular activities.          

      Some nights everything is just so overwhelming you just want to kill yourself. Being a teenager can really suck sometimes, hormones raging, confused about life and what you should do. Things can get complicated. Yet why? Who to take to the latest banquet doesn't have to be such a dramatic subject. Yet somehow it always was. Boys, friends, family, school, it all got busy and crazy. There was always so much to do, I would want to shut my brain off. 

        There are some things I will really miss about high school, the events, the friends, the memories, but there are something that I really won't, the drama, the crazy schedules, the stress. Why is it always that when we have something we are so willing to give it away and when we don't have it anymore we want nothing more than to have it back?

Change

       In 58 days my life is going to change forever. I am headed into the next chapter in my life. This is both exciting and terrifying. It is going into the unknown not knowing if you are prepared, or ready for what challenges lie ahead. Once you graduate high school everyone expects you to wake up and be prepared. They expect you to wake up the next day and be responsible and ready to take the bull by the horns. That is definitely easier for some than others. But I like to think of all the millions of other people that have survived and think that I can do it too.