When Missionaries Return

  As a returned student missionary, something I have become passionate about is educating family and friends of returned student missionaries of what to expect when their missionary comes home. I know that it is hard on the family and friends of SMs because they don’t know what to expect, they don’t know how their friend will have changed, what experiences they have had, what they have been through. When you go as an SM you miss out on a lot and you go through a lot.

          It is scary to come back, you are just as unsure about how to fit in as your friends are. You missed out on inside jokes, pop culture, movies, songs, award shows, and television shows. Things have happened and it is hard to catch up. It can be hard to switch cultures again. You are thrown into a new culture and forced to abandon the way you used to do things before, for this new lifestyle. Then you get thrown back to where you were before and it can be confusing and overwhelming. It can be easy to get frustrated. You also have to fight the feelings of being happy to be home and see your friends and family again but yet fighting the ache in your heart of the pain of those you loved and left. It can be hard to go from being the person in charge to coming back to school and just being a person in the classroom.

         Life becomes so much more complicated and daily lifestyles can see selfish and greedy. There are so many options in the stores and everything you could ever want or need is available to you, unlike it was in the mission field. It can be hard to find your purpose again after a year of service. You go from your everyday daily life being for other people, and now you are forced to go back to school and focus on yourself and it feels selfish on many levels.

       When your friends come back from a year abroad be patient and loving towards them. Understand that though they may be sad because they miss their students or host families, they are still happy to see you and still love you. They are just as confused and frustrated as you. Let them tell stories and talk about their experiences. Returned student missionaries just want to talk and share about the things they did. They want to show pictures and talk about what they loved about their year. Let them talk it can be therapeutic.

        Be patient, for awhile they won’t understand your movie references, your inside jokes, or your pop culture references and it can be easy for a returned missionary to feel isolated and alone for awhile because they can’t relate and it can be frustrating an alienating. Include them as much as possible and help them catch up.

    They may be struggling spiritually. After a year of service and seeing God work in different real ways, you can be on a spiritual high and coming back can cause you to crash. It can be harder to find God in your come country. Help them connect and be there for them to talk to. They may not want to talk about it but be aware that they may be struggling with God.

     Being a student missionary is an amazing experience, you get to see and experience things you wouldn’t otherwise get to. You get to fall in love with other people and cultures, you get to see God in other ways. It pushes you to examine yourself and your beliefs. It challenges you in multiple ways. Being a student missionary is great but it includes transitions and it is important to be there to support them.

Put Down Your Phone

       In the world of technology and Netflix we fill every moment with some kind of “noise”. We listen to music while we walk to class, play Netflix while we study, do laundry, eat our meals, we look at our phone while we stand in line, while we wait for our food. We check Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and whatever else hundreds of times a day. We don’t like to be alone in the quiet with ourselves. We don’t like to be forced to look at who we are. We avoid real life as much as we can, most of the time subconsciously.

     When do you stop to just look at the things around you? When do you just stop to listen to the noises and see the sun shine down on you? We miss so much out of life because we are too busy looking at our screens. We are using technology to babysit our kids. We are teaching them to rely on technology.

    When is the last time you just read a book? When is the last time you drew? When is the last time you just stopped and listened to music, really listened? When is the last time you did something just because it made you happy? Go out and do things! Take a walk in the park. Go paint something! Go get lunch with a friend and be with them there in that moment, no phones. Go thrift shopping! Find what makes you happy and go do it! Don’t miss out on life because you have been in bed watching Netflix for the past seven hours!

       Find things that make your heart sing. Go enjoy a really good cup of coffee, go visit an art gallery, go experiment with photography, go for a hike! I dare you to get passionate about something and use it to make a difference!

Tales of Anxiety

     If you don't suffer from a mental illness it is hard to understand, especially anxiety. It's hard to understand the emotional turmoil and physical toll it takes on your body. The panic and exhaustion you feel. The constant loop of worry that plays around and around in your brain and no matter what you do you can't stop it. The panic that grips your chest, making it hard to breathe and causing you to feel sick to your stomach. The nausea that overcomes making you loose your appetite. The hours you spend over the toilet throwing up only making your worry more. The countless sleepless nights. The nights waking up in panic praying for your mind to calm down and sleep to knock you out.
     Anxiety is frustrating. You know you are okay and that what is worrying you may be irrational but anxiety doesn't care. It doesn't care if you are being irrational, it doesn't care if you are going to be okay it comes in anyways and overtakes your life whether you want it to or not. It seems like no matter what you do it never really goes away. It overcomes your life and steals your happiness.
   Anxiety can make  you feel lonely and hopeless. It can make you feel shame and embarrassed. I mean after all you aren't going to die, it just feels like it. Why can't you handle life like normal people? Why can't you just calm down? It doesn't matter how many times you tell yourself you are okay your body doesn't believe you. Your body is scared and it is reacting in the way it sees fit.
    Anxiety makes it hard to focus on anything other than anxiety. It makes life so much more complicated and the smallest of tasks seem so overwhelming. Anxiety is a mental disease and it can be hard to deal with. I understand I have been there. People don't always understand they say pray about it. But what they don't know is that praying about it means you are thinking about it and thinking about it makes you worry more and the cycle spins and spins faster and faster out of control and soon you are hunched over hyperventilating praying to just help you live. Anxiety is scary. You do all you can to survive.
    But eventually you find joy. Joy and peace in the little things, maybe for only a second, but it was still there and for a moment you found relief and peace of what was worrying you. Maybe later it is longer, an hour maybe, maybe you even laughed hard for the first time in a long time. Maybe later it's a day and soon the attacks are farther and farther apart and what was worrying you doesn't seem so big anymore. It is those moments that you have to appreciate the good in life because when anxiety hits it is those moments you have to so desperately cling to. It is what makes life worth living.